Papa Sonic
by Stupidfic
Summary: blah blah blah Amy has a baby and saids its Sonics
1. whose yo daddy?

Sonic took a breath of fresh air. Oh how he loved his life, filled with thrills and adventure. He never really stayed in one spot for very long and why should when he has such a huge world to explore? Yup, Sonic the Hedgehog didn't have a care in the world because he had everything he needs and all that he needs is freedom.

"Oh Sooooooonic!"

The blue animal sighed. Heading towards him was Amy Rose, a pink female hedgehog who was attracted to him. She was kind of cute, but with her diehard fan-girl attitude she was rather annoying.

"What do ya need, Amy?" Sonic asked, preparing himself to flee.

Amy Rose answered "you of course!"

The male hedgehog decided to was time get out of there while he still had the chance, but then he noticed something. Amy was carrying something in her arms, and whatever it was a blanket covered it up. "What's that you're holding?"

Amy gave Sonic a closer look. It was a baby hedgehog! The baby's fur color was like cotton candy, light blue blended with pink. In the baby's hands was a blue rattle and it had the same designs as Amy's hammer.

"I wanted to show you him" said Amy as she cradled the infant. "His name is Sammy, isn't he cute?"

Sonic looked at the baby and said "yeah I guess so." He tickled the little hedgehog and Sammy giggled. "So, is this your cousin or something?"

"Nope, he's ours."

The blue hedgehog suddenly stopped tickling Sammy and stared at Amy. "OURS?!"

"That's right, you're a daddy Sonic!"

Sonic's jaw dropped. "Oh no no no! This has to be a mistake, I mean-"

"It's no mistake!" Amy said "Sammy is our child. Don't try denying it, I have proof he's ours!"

Sonic couldn't believe it. He just found out he is a father and Amy is the mother. The hedgehog wanted to run away, but decided it was a bad idea. Amy couldn't raise a baby by herself and at such a young age, that, and she would hunt him down and beat the crap out of him with her hammer.

"Alright then Amy" spoke Sonic "Sammy might be ours."

Amy smiled and said "alright! I finally have an excuse for marrying you! Now let's go home to my apartment and I'll make lunch for us. Don't go to fast, honey!"

Sonic grimaced at the girl's last word. He was confident this will all over soon enough when Sammy's real parents come for their child, so he'll just play along with Amy for now. Besides, when you're a guy who saved the world dozens of times, how hard can raising a baby be?…

-

…a lot harder then he expected!

"Honey, he's not calming down!" Amy spoke to her 'husband', who was currently trying to stop Sammy from crying.

Sonic muttered "I'm trying, I'm trying!"

"Maybe he needs his diaper changed?"

The blue hedgehog checked it out and nearly gagged at the horrid smell of Sammy's diaper. Using his super speed, Sonic took the dirty diaper off of Sammy, took out a clean diaper, put it on Sammy, placed Sammy in a crib, then grabbed the diaper and went in front of an open window.

"LOOK OUT BELOW!" he shouted as he threw the smelly diaper outside. Sounds of cars crashing and explosions were heard afterwards. He noticed Sammy stopped crying and was relieved by this.

Amy was looking through the cupboards and saw there was a lack of food inside. She looks at Sonic and says "sweety, we're out of food."

"So what do you want me to do?" the blue hedgehog asked.

"Well, you could get a job…"

"A job?!?"

"Yeah! I mean how to think we can get the rings to afford meals?"

"I don't need a job to get rings, those things are practically everywhere. In fact, there's a couple of them right over there!"

Sonic pointed to the living room and indeed there was five rings floating like magic over a couch. Amy pocketed the rings and went to the front door.

"I'm going grocery shopping" she said "take care of Sammy while I'm gone."

Then she left before Sonic could protest. The blue mammal turned to his son, who was fast asleep in his crib. With nothing else to do, Sonic laid on the couch and watched television on low volume. The show on TV bored Sonic so much he fell asleep. As he napped, he was unaware Sammy had woken up and got out of his crib.

-

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. my baby! wheres my baby?

Sonic awoke from his slumber. He looked at the cradle and saw Sammy was gone! The hedgehog panicked, and looked everywhere in Amy's apartment. He looked out the window and saw his child outside on the streets, about to crawl into oncoming traffic! Sonic gasped, then quickly ran down the ground floor of the apartment and went outside and grabbed Sammy before the infant was road kill.

The hedgehog hugged the baby and said "that was close. Good thing I'm the fastest thing alive and this is an ordinary peaceful city."

Someone screamed "RANDOM UNEXPECTED APOCALYSE ALERT!!!"

Then the city went into madness as the sky stormed and various objects exploded. While Sonic was confused to what the hell just happened, a gargoyle swooped in and took Sammy from the blue hedgehog's arms! The father chased after the stone creature in order to rescue his son.

However, the gargoyle had other plans and spat fireballs at it's pursuer. Sonic dodged the fiery projectiles and did a homing attack at the winged creature. The gargoyle roared in pain and dropped it's cargo. Sonic screamed when Sammy fell, but luckily the baby was unharmed when he landed on the ground. The bad news was that Sammy was surround by a herd of flesh-eating zombies!

Sonic spin dashed through the living dead and snagged his tyke. The zombies now wanted some nice raw legs to nibble on but the speedy hedgehog wouldn't give the slow corpses a chance. But suddenly the zombies were now running away. Sonic wondered what scared them off and saw a huge spaceship firing a just as huge missile!

"You got to be fucking kidding me!" shouted Sonic.

Holding Sammy tightly, Sonic ran as the missile hit the ground and exploded. The explosion scorched everything in it's wake, but that did not include the hedgehogs. Soon enough, the blast radius could go no further and the blue hedgehog made it out alive with his child with only a few burnt quills.

"See Sammy?" Sonic said "there's nothing that I can't outrun!"

Then a car fell on the hedgehog and he was knocked unconscious.

-

When he came to, he saw he was in a hospital room, all bandaged up. The strange thing was Sonic was sure this hospital was just destroyed by the missile earlier. Oh well, that's plot holes for ya!

"Sonic!" said a female voice. It was Amy, who seemed relieved Sonic was awakened. "Are you okay?!"

"Yeah, I guess so" replied the blue hedgehog "where's Sammy? Is he alright?"

"Sammy is fine. In fact, he doesn't have a scratch on him! Now let's go home and I'll make dinner for you."

The pink hedgehog pulled in a wheelchair, but Sonic didn't like the idea of not using his speed.

He says "uh, no thanks, I think I can walk fine."

"Come on Sonic!" pouted Amy, "it will be much safer for you."

The male animal sighed and sat on the wheelchair while Amy pushed it. Three seconds later the wheelchair gets stuck in front of a flight of stairs and Amy tries fix it by shaking it. Sonic gets knocked off the wheelchair and falls down the stairs, breaks through a window, falls three stories, lands on hard cement, gets hit by car, then is repeatedly kicked by an Italian wearing red.

Amy sweat dropped and muttered to herself, "I guess Sonic won't have dinner tonight."

-

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. devil child

-1Three days later and Sonic finally got out of his casts. But during those days it seems bad things keep happening. Like when he went to McDonalds the other day all the hamburgers came alive and tried to go down Sonic's throat. Or when he took an elevator and ended up in China. But today could be different, right?

The hedgehog checked up on Sammy when he heard the infant crying. The baby hedgehog looked alright, but he looked like he wanted something. Sonic looked to the floor on the other side of the room and saw Sammy's rattle.

"You want your rattle, huh?" Sonic said "here, I'll go take to you."

He went to get the rattle. Just as he was about to touch it, he dodged out of the way when an axe nearly decapitated him! Now he now Amy didn't have axes in her home, he asked her yesterday when a chopped down tree fell on his bed. The hedgehog began to think these bad events weren't a coincidence. Someone was doing all these somehow, and he believe he had a good idea who.

"You!" Sonic shouted as he pointed his finger to Sammy "you're trying to kill me!"

Sammy stared at him blankly.

"Don't play dumb with me! I know all those strange things happen because of you!"

The baby dropped the innocence act and giggled evilly.

"I don't know how your doing it, but you better stop right now!"

Sammy shook his head.

"Fine, then I'll do this!" He took the rattle and ran somewhere then came back empty-handed. "I hid your rattle, and you have no chance of finding it!"

The tiny hedgehog spoke baby talk angrily.

"Don't bother threatening me, I won't tell you anything."

Sammy got really mad, and started drooling. He hunched over and started changing. His quills became sharper, claws formed on his fingers and toes, and he grew jagged teeth. He now looked and acted like a savage animal, and would have been more menacing if his fur wasn't still cotton candy colored.

Sonic gulped and muttered "oh crap."

The blue hedgehog was knocked down when the evil baby tackled him. He put his arm in front of his face to prevent Sammy from biting his eyes off. He then used that arm to toss the toddler terror off of him.

Sammy landed on his feet, and still had some fight in him. He rolled into a ball-like saw then spin dashed towards Sonic. Sonic jumped over Sammy and Sammy went through a wall. A second afterwards the baby hedgehog comes out of another part of the wall to reach his target. Sonic gets out of the way and Sammy goes into another wall. This process goes on for a while until the entire room is full of holes. At that time Sammy seemed to stop attacking and was now hiding in the walls.

Sonic uses the chance to take a breather. "What the hell is up with Sammy? He's evil, almost has all my abilities, uses unnatural powers, and has a hatred for me. I'm starting to think his real father is Shadow!"

Suddenly, an entire wall is broken down. And the one to blame is Sammy, carrying a very large bazooka.

"Oh yeah, he is definitely Shadow's."

Sammy fired multiple rockets from the bazooka. The rockets blew up and destroyed all the furniture in the room. Despite the apartment's small size, Sonic avoided all the blasts. He ran up to Sammy and began choking the boy. Sammy retaliated by taking off his stinky diaper and shoving it into his dad's face. The two continued suffocating each other off until somebody came in.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!"

Amy Rose separated the male hedgehogs by grabbing them by their ears (which I think they have.)

"A-Amy" Sonic stuttered as he winced in pain "I can explain!"

Mother Rose shouted "oh you have a lot of explaining to do! And you'll tell me once your both done with time out!"

The pink hedgehog dragged her speedy husband and demonic child into the next room.

-

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. insert chapter name here

Tails and Knuckles were walking through the halls of an apartment building. Sonic called them an hour ago and wanted to talk to them personally. Now they were looking for his room.

"I still can't believe Sonic has a child" Tails said to Knuckles. "I wonder how he's handling it?"

Knuckles says "I'm sure he's fine!"

They finally found the room number and knocked on the door. Opening it was Sonic the hedgehog, who looked like total crap.

He groggily spoke "come in… guys."

The fox and echidna entered and noticed the place was a complete dump. Besides that, there was a freaky baby hedgehog being fed by Amy, who looked perfectly normal.

"Hey Knuckles and Tails!" Amy said cheerfully, "how is going? I want you to meet Sammy. Say hi Sammy!"

The evil infant screamed loud enough to shatter all the glass in the apartment building. He went back to eating his grub.

"Aww, isn't he just adorable?"

"Yup!" Tails and Knuckles replied happily. Then they turned to Sonic with shock expressions of their faces.

"You mean THAT'S your child?" whispered Tails, making sure Amy doesn't hear.

"Yeah… that's Sammy" yawned Sonic "he's dangerous… really… really… really… dangerous."

"And why does Amy keep the kid?" Knuckles wondered.

"I dunno… she acts like… nothing wrong."

"Perhaps she's pretending to ignore the obvious because this her chance for you to hang around with her and refuses to give it up" Tails concluded.

"That, or she's an idiot." muttered Knuckles.

The sleepy hedgehog spoke "look guys… Sammy is too much… I can't eat, I can't… sleep and I'm losing my energy to hold him off. You gotta get rid of him, you gotta… stop… him……………ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

Sonic fell to the floor snoring. Sammy took the opportunity to bounce on his father's stomach.

"Hey Amy!" said Tails "do you mind if Knuckles and me took Sammy out for a stroll?"

"Sure! My little boy could use some fresh air" Amy Rose answered as she grabbed Sammy and handed him to Knuckles. "Plus, now that Sonic is snoozing I could have a little fun, teehee!"

The pink hedgehog dragged her husband into the bedroom. The echidna and fox eyed each other, then slowly left the room.

-

The two were now walking down the street, Sammy gnawing on Knuckles' leg.

"So should we leave the kid in the dumpster?" asked the red animal.

His two-tailed pal replied "that might be a bad idea. Not only is that child neglect, he might get out and wreck havoc with no one to stop him."

"So what do we do?"

"I think I have an idea…"

They went into an orphanage. There they walked up to a man who worked at the place.

"Excuse me sir" Tails spoke as he pulled Sammy off of Knuckles "we found this child all alone in an alley and thought we should put him here."

The man looked at the beastly baby and stated "he can't be allowed here."

"Huh? Why not?"

"He is obviously an animal, and thus can't stay here. Try the pound across the street."

-

"What?! Are you out of your mind?!" shouted a man who worked at the pound.

"He's an animal, isn't he?" Knuckles asked.

"This baby ISN'T just an animal. His type is an intelligent breed, and you two should know as your practically the same as him. I can't believe you would ever consider dumping a child here! Try the animal orphanage two blocks from here."

-

Tails wondered "so why are you in a cage if you work here?"

"It's part of the regulations" replied a caged dog. "Let me out and I'll sign the child up."

Knuckles open the cage. The dog ran off.

"I'M FREE! I'M FREE! SO LONG SUCKERS! AHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

The canine jumped out of a window. Multiple cars crashing could be heard from outside.

"Well that was pointless" spoke Knuckles "got any other ideas, Tails?"

-

The two were now at Tails' workshop. The kitsune has finished making an invention.

"This is the Gatestar" Tails said showing his work of art. "It will open a gateway to an alternative reality. Now let's activate the machine!"

The fox pushed a button and a portal opened up. The echidna picked up the baby hedgehog.

"Now your another Sonic's problem!" he shouted as he threw Sammy into the portal. The Gatestar began to rumble.

"Uh oh" gulped Tails "something's coming out!"

Millions of Sammies from other dimensions came out of the portal and filed up the workshop.

-

Now they were climbing Mount Doom. They tossed Sammy into the volcano, hoping he burn into a crisp. He never did, because the baby landed in a new theme park built inside Mount Doom.

"Crap!" Tails and Knuckles shouted together.

-

"This has to be your dumbest idea yet" muttered Knuckles.

"Kiss my ass" Tails spat back.

The two have finished stuffing Sammy in the toilet. They tried flushing, but the baby clogged the pipes and soon enough there was a flood.

-

Out of options and ideas, Tails and Knuckles decided to ditch the baby at a place the child we be at home. They left Sammy in front of the door and rang the bell. Before the two could run away, the door opened, and the owner of the house saw the animals.

"I've been expecting you boys" chuckled Eggman.

-

TO BE CONTINUED.


	5. they grow up so fast

Tails and Knuckles were now imprisoned in Eggman's Fortress. Some robots came carrying Amy Rose and Sonic and put the hedgehogs in their own separate cells next to the fox's and echidna's.

Tails said "Sonic? Amy? What are you guys doing here?"

"Eggman captured us unexpectedly" answered Amy. "We could have fought them off, but Sonic is still asleep."

"Zzzzzzz… chilidogs…" snored the sleeping hedgehog.

Knuckles grunted "what is Eggman up to this time?"

"Good questioned, knucklehead" said Eggman as he walked in "I shall to you right now."

"Where's Sammy? What have you done to him!" demanded Tails.

"The child is fine, fox boy, in fact, he's better than fine! See for yourself!"

The baby hedgehog came in, riding on a miniature version of the Eggmobile.

"You see, the Sammy you know of is really my latest creation: the Egg Baby!"

"Egg Baby?" gasped Amy "but that can't be possible! I have proof he's my kid!"

"What kind of proof?" Knuckles asked.

"Yeah, I mean, you never told us how you got Sammy" said Tails.

"I got Sammy one night when I found him in front of my door in a basket. There was a letter inside with him that said 'Amy, this is your baby and Sonic is his father.' I mean, what more proof could you need?"

When Amy Rose finished talking, Sonic instantly woke up.

"THAT'S YOUR PROOF?!" Sonic screamed in rage "A STUPID LETTER? DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BABIES ARE BORN? AHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SO PISSED OFF!"

The blue hedgehog went and busted out of his cell in anger.

"Hahaha! Now you know how my planned worked!" Eggman laughed. "I left the Egg Baby with your little girlfriend here so you be forced to be with her and raise the baby, not knowing the infant would make you miserable and tired, so that I could sneak in and destroy you easily!"

"But what about his abilities?" asked Sonic "how can he do all those supernatural things?"

"It's rather simple, really. The Egg Baby is powered by the Chaos Emeralds, which I found in my backyard for some reason! With the emeralds' power, the Egg Baby is able to curse others with very bad luck, so those who were cursed would suffer greatly! And there's nothing you can do about it!"

"All except one thing." The speedy hedgehog ran up to not-really-his child and touched him. Sonic transformed into Super Sonic!

"Argh you little pest! Egg Baby, become your final form and eliminate Sonic one and for all!"

Sammy grew into a giant robot, then Super Sonic and him broke through the roof, with Eggman following in his Eggmobile.

"HEY!" Knuckles yelled "WE'RE STILL TRAPPED IN THESE CELLS SONIC!"

-

The super powered hedgehogs were battling it out above a desert wasteland. While the Egg Baby was sending dozens of things falling from the sky, Super Sonic was dodging them all.

"You couldn't kill me before" Sonic shouted "and you won't kill me now!"

Sammy fired homing missiles from his quills. The golden hedgehog did some aerial maneuvers to avoid the missiles and send them crashing into each other. Sammy gave out a robotic roar and spin dashed to Sonic. Super Sonic flew over the giant robot, then attacked when Sammy stood up straight. The Egg Baby was unharmed.

"Darn it, I can't damage him this way. And my rings are depleting!"

That's when he saw the Chaos Emeralds attached to the robot's torso. Sonic flew in and took one emerald off. Sammy roared when he realized what the super hedgehog was trying to do. The Egg Baby tried to swat away his enemy, but Sonic knocked off two more emeralds. He used his homing missiles, then another two came off. He used his supernatural powers, but alas the last emeralds were taken away.

Now that the Egg Baby was unpowered and defenseless, Super Sonic gave what any father would give to an evil robotic baby. A spanking. Sonic gave Sammy a thousand helpings of hi-speed spankings to the robot's bottom. The Egg Baby screamed, and exploded into pieces.

The golden hedgehog's last ring was gone, and thus became regular Sonic. Exploring his child's remains, he saw a tiny robot in the shape of a familiar pointy backed animal. It was Sammy's original form, no doubt about it, and he was sobbing like a real baby. Even though the Egg Baby deserved it, Sonic felt a little guilty when he looked at the helpless scrap metal. So he ran off and came back, holding something in his hands.

"Here's your rattle Sammy" Sonic said as he gave the robot it's item. Sammy looked at it and smiled. He grabbed the rattle and shook it happily.

Eggman came by and shouted "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, EGG BABY? DESTROY THAT HEDGEHOG!!!" But Sammy was too occupied playing with his favorite. So the doctor swiped the object from the robot's grasp and stomped on it until it was little pieces. Big mistake.

Sammy leapt at his creator and punched and kicked and bit Dr. Eggman. As this was happening, Sonic's friends came to watch.

"So that means we have no baby, huh Sonic?" sighed Amy Rose.

"Yeah" Sonic replied. Then he fled.

"HEY!" Amy shouted, chasing after him with her hammer "YOU COME BACK!"

Sonic cheered "Whoo hoo! I'm free! I'm free like the wind!"

Tails and Knuckles stood there, watching the fat doctor trying to pry off the angry robot and the pink hedgehog chasing the blue hedgehog.

The fox says "shouldn't you be watching the Master Emerald or something?"

"Don't worry" Knuckles said, "I installed a security system."

-

Meanwhile, Rouge the Bat was sneaking around on Angel Island. She then saw her prize, a large green emerald!

"Come to mama" Rouge whispered.

She walked up to the emerald and touched it. Then Big the Cat fell on her.

"How the fuck did I get here?" muttered Big.

-

THE END!!!!!!!!


End file.
